“Musician terrorists
Horndog is not sure what the intent of this article is, but see for yourself:

…they tend to think the poor hornist is less a terrorist than a victim of something worse than terrorism- the horn itself. The 2nd most effective terrorist I ever worked with was a horn player.

John will have more to say on this article in his own upcoming post later this week.”

Hi John

Thanks so much for taking note of my post, which was only ever intended as an exercise in humor and a chance to cathartically re-visit a few episodes from working life.

I think one thing I could have made clearer is that when we speak of terrorists (a term coined by a trumpet player) we’re talking about the tiniest minority of musicians. We’d (all of us- players, conductors and listeners) all give up if horn players were terrorists or oboe players or piccolo players.

So, no, this is quite the opposite of what I really think of horn players, who do one of the most glorious and difficult jobs on earth. It’s just a description of what someone who is not committed to listening, preparing and collaborating can do (or perhaps undo) with a horn. As it happens, I was asked yesterday in a conducting class what instrument I would play in orchestra besides my own (cello) and the answer was easy- horn.

And remember, nobody is more well positioned to unleash chaos and destruction than the person with the baton.

Horn players think a lot of things about conductors. They are our bosses, make a lot more money, and can generally make life hard for us if they choose. But what do conductors think about us? At an unguarded moment?

Kenneth Woods is a British conductor with a fine blog. We at Horn Matters do follow a variety of blogs and noted with interest his very recent post simply titled “Terrorists.” He opens with an explanation of the term in relation to orchestral players and conductors.

……
He goes through a whole list of ways different individuals and sections can ruin a concert. For us on horn, this is the money quote:

We now come to the elite orchestral terrorists- the brass and percussion. … of all brass instruments, I think readers will agree that the best terrorists are the horns- somehow, they’ve convinced the world that a certain number of terrorist acts are all but unavoidable on their instruments. Audience members can never understand why a trumpet player fraks- they expect perfection having grown up with Bud Herseth and Maurice Murphy. But they tend to think the poor hornist is less a terrorist than a victim of something worse than terrorism- the horn itself. The 2nd most effective terrorist I ever worked with was a horn player.
Chip a few notes, play out of tune, play in the wrong place, etc., and you too could be a terrorist!

There is an element of truth to this. I have heard of situations where for example Principal players became convinced that their second was trying to play out of tune or out of balance with them. That would be terrorism, and also very unprofessional, but perhaps an element of orchestra politics to be aware of.

This whole post by Maestro Woods is one to ponder. If nothing else it gives a clear insight into what many conductors must think about horn players deep down. Hornists as terrorists! We have it in our amazing power to ruin their concert! And they it should be noted have it in their powers to set us up to fail too. Hopefully the performing situations our readers find themselves in are all ones where everyone is simply trying to do their best with no hidden agendas. At the very least make it your policy to not be a part of the problem but instead to be a part of the soloution.

This is from a conductor’s blog, found here. I’ve not worked with him. Now I think I’d be rather fearful to, you know?

2 Responses to “Yikes!”
gabrielle
he’s actually got a good point–a bad 2nd oboist can spoil everything. 2nd oboe is SO HARD and SO IMPORTANT, good second players should get way more respect than they do!

Comment on Nov 21st, 2009 at 6:07 pm
Patty
He has a point, but as a professional musician I would be awfully cautious about making blanket statements. I attempt to only mock myself. That’s a bit safer. Especially if I want gigs.

I’m going to guess, though, that he was being humorous … he just touched on some things that hit this oboe player. (We are accused of having huge egos. Our A is often questioned. And of course a conductor can totally destroy an oboist; I know someone who, after dealing with a conductor who despised him, sold all his instruments and went into the wine & cheese biz. He’s probably much wealthier for it!)

http://oboeinsight.com/2009/11/20/yikes-5/

I remember being at a festival many years ago and the music director of one of the GREAT American orchestras sat in and tried to play cymbals. Now that was a disaster- it’s a real art, no doubt about it. The timing is so hard! On the other hand, I know one cymbal specialist who only plays Tchaik 4, but does it VERY well

Another stressful percussion moment was Hall of the Mountain King where the cymbal player went into his own world during the accelerando and the whole thing almost collapsed.

I’d have to increase it from zero. Rather than let these little snafu’s drive me to PTSD, I just file it all away for humorous deployment at a later date.