Author Archives: Kenneth Woods

BREAKING: Trump to Eliminate Horn Splits As President

Ex-trustfunder turned billionaire-blowhard-reality-show-junkie-cum-presidential-candidate Donald Trump waded into fraught cultural waters today with a speech in Vetterficker, Alabama during which he promised to “put an end to horn splits and fracks in my first 100 Trump-days as Trump-President of the United States of Trump.” “Horn splits are a pervasive problem in our orchestral society,” said Trump, […]

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Special arrangements have been made

As many of you know, all of us at the English Symphony Orchestra are busy gearing up for our 2015 Elgar Pilgrimage from the 7th-10th of October, with concerts in some of Elgar’s favourite haunts: Hereford, Malvern and Birmingham (on October 9th and 10th) One of the highlights of the festival promises to be world […]

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RIP Ivan Moravec

It was with real sadness that I learned today of the passing of this pianist Ivan Moravec, a man who was widely recognised as one of the greatest pianists of his generation, but who never quite earned the fame or fortune his artistry merited. The many recordings he made are really treasures and well worth seeking […]

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BREAKING: Music Industry Shock as Leading Orchestra Appoints Conductor Based on Skill at Conducting

The music industry reacted with wide-eyed amazement this month as the world’s leading orchestra announced they were appointing someone to the prestigious position of Principal Conductor based on his ability to conduct. Across Europe, North America and the Far East, orchestral managers, agents, musicians and music lovers expressed genuine shock at the news that a […]

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On The Health Benefits of Head Banging

A study on the life arcs of 1980’s-era heavy metal fans has been making the news this week, and its main conclusion is no surprise to me: In fact, researchers find that former metal fans “were significantly happier in their youth, and better adjusted currently” compared to their peers who preferred other musical genres, and […]

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Charleston: I am aware

I was not aware of what had just happened, but sometimes, it’s better not to know. Today my colleagues (Matthew Sharp, David LePage, Suzanne Casey and Catherine Leech) and I played a noontime recital as part of the English Symphony Orchestra’s Magna Carta 800 celebrations at Worcester Cathedral . The entire festival has been a […]

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This is a Reblog: Read the original official press release from MusicCo International UPDATE- A new interview as Ken speaks to Peter Alexander at Sharps and Flatirons here.  Coverage from Norman Lebrecht’s Slipped Disc here: “The Colorado MahlerFest in and around the city of Boulder is one of the boldest musical initiatives of modern times. ” […]

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BREAKING: Vftp 538’s the Berlin Philharmonic. We know for sure that the next Chief Conductor of the Berlin Philharmonic will be:….

Next week the Berlin Philharmonic picks a new Chief Conductor. There’s always bound to be curiosity about who is going to get the best job in any field of interest to the general public (there seems to be much curiosity this week over who will run the United Kingdom next week), so it’s encouraging that […]

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The Dangerous and the Disastrous: Orchestrators to approach with caution

There’s no point in compiling a “worst orchestrators” list- the guilty parties would all be hopelessly minor and un-interesting composers. Far more interesting is to have a look at the who the great composers are who are most able to humble, wrong foot, humiliate or frustrate orchestras and composers.  Some ask too much, some didn’t […]

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