{"id":7451,"date":"2016-06-10T20:12:51","date_gmt":"2016-06-10T19:12:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/kennethwoods.net\/blog1\/?p=7451"},"modified":"2016-07-18T16:13:08","modified_gmt":"2016-07-18T15:13:08","slug":"alto-clef-unfit-for-purpose-government-study-concludes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/kennethwoods.net\/blog1\/2016\/06\/10\/alto-clef-unfit-for-purpose-government-study-concludes\/","title":{"rendered":"Alto Clef “Unfit for Purpose” Government Study Concludes"},"content":{"rendered":"

Government officials are considering a move to permanently do away with alto clef from 2018, sources have revealed.<\/p>\n

It has been known for some time that the widely reviled clef, recently voted \u201cworst clef\u201d for a record-shattering 27th year in a row, has long been considered by many in the cabinet as \u201cunfit for purpose.\u201d A recent government white paper on clefs and transpositions cited many shortcomings with alto clef, including insufficient distinctiveness from other so-called \u201cc clefs,\u201d notably the far more popular tenor clef.<\/p>\n

Minister for Transposition, Jacob Wayst-Moog, said of the underperforming clef: \u201cFor many years now, the government have been aware that alto clef is saddled with a number of intrinsic shortcomings. Almost nobody can actually read it- even violists, who use it everyday, are often as confused about what pitch they are playing as are those listening to them. Most decent violists are actually violinists anyway, and they\u2019d be far better off under the government\u2019s new plan for viola parts to be written in treble clef transposed in F.\u201d<\/p>\n

Alto clef has long raised the ire of leading music critics as well as musicians. \u201cThe real problem with alto clef,\u201d said one leading London critic, \u201cis that it\u2019s only useable for a register that nobody particularly wants to hear,\u201d while another noted that \u201cit\u2019s hard to muster much enthusiasm for alto clef- all it seems to be good for is the wooly region of the viola and missed notes on the trombone. Where tenor clef tends to create a sense of expectation of the bright heldentenor colorings of the cello and stentorian trombone chorals, alto clef is really only used for fuzzy inner voices and passages requiring the use of a toy trombone.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"trombones\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Some in government expect the “alto trombone” (bottom) \u00a0to be renamed as the “toy trombone” once alto clef is scrapped in 2018. Photo credit- Edward Solomon<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n

It is understood that a final announcement on the future of the troubled clef has been postponed due to a lack of consensus among ministers as to what to replace it with. While some have advocated for an expansion of the role of tenor clef, others have called for the widespread introduction of transposition among violists, a plan recently derided by the Leader of the Opposition as \u201cthe worst musical idea since techno-dodecaphony.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"Users<\/a>

Side effects of exposure to alto clef include writing bizarre sentences backwards. Photo credit North Muskegon Elementary Strings<\/em><\/p><\/div>\n

Government ministers were quick to discount rumors that the move to replace alto clef was intended to save conductors from public embarrassment. “Let’s face it, if we did away with all musical notation that conductors struggle with, it wouldn’t mean just doing away with alto clef, bass clarinet in A and Glockenspiel, \u00a0we’d have to rely on conducting Mahler symphonies using guitar tablature,” said one source.<\/p>\n

Meanwhile Mervyn Purvue of the British Society for the Preservation of Historic Clefs called for caution: \u201cAlto clef may have its obvious shortcomings, but sometimes it\u2019s important to protect the appropriate place of aspects of our heritage, however grotesque and disgusting we may find them. Like Morris dancing, the music of Percy Grainger and TV talent shows, alto clef reminds us that life often has a dark and distasteful side. Just as we must face up to the brutal atrocities committed over the centuries in the name of the British Empire, we must accept that alto clef, awful as it is, is a part of our musical history we can\u2019t just sweep under the carpet.\u201d<\/p>\n