10- The tuning slide allows a trumpet player to adjust how sharp he or she is to the rest of the orchestra.

9 – Violinists invariably play sharp when they’re under pressure, which is always. This is why they tune their open strings higher than the rest of the string section.

8- High C is a very flat note on almost every oboe, which is why they don’t adjust it unless you ask them to.

7- Bassoonists are faster at adjusting pitch than anyone else in the woodwind section because they never have to worry whether they’re sharp or flat, only how sharp.

6- When playing cello in an orchestra, never sit between the bassoons and double basses, because you can’t.

5- Horn chords are often out of tune because they’re sure you are too far away to tell.

4- The lower note in the timpani solo in Also Sprach Zarathustra is out of tune because everyone knows what it’s supposed to be.

3- When writing string trios, Beethoven usually gives both inner voices in a four-part texture to the viola, because that’s going to work just great.

2- The basses are sure they were playing perfectly in tune until you checked.

1- If you need to tune a woodwind chord with a high note on the e-flat clarinet, don’t.