Kenneth Woods - conductor
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BREAKING- Olympic Athletes to Mime Entire 2012 Games

by Kenneth Woods | Jun 3, 2012 | A view from the podium, Not quite the news, Satire

London- Eyebrows were raised across the sporting world today when anonymous sources within the Olympic organizing committee revealed  that athletes in the 2012 Games have been told to mime their events to a pre-recorded result and commentary. In the case of the...
BREAKING- Coalition Government to Introduce “Mahler Licensing Scheme”

BREAKING- Coalition Government to Introduce “Mahler Licensing Scheme”

by Kenneth Woods | Apr 16, 2012 | Mahler, Mahler- Performer's Perspective, Not quite the news, Satire

The Home Office is launching a new “Mahler Licensing Scheme” from 2013, it was announced on Tuesday in Downing Street. “If the tragic events of 2010-11 taught us anything” Prime Minister David Cameron said in a joint press conference with Home Secretary Teresa May and...

Top Ten Signs You May Have Just Written a Mahler Symphony

by Kenneth Woods | Feb 23, 2011 | Lists, Mahler, Mahler- Performer's Perspective, Not quite the news, Satire

Top Ten Signs You May Have Just Written a Mahler Symphony 10. Somewhere in the world, someone is already arguing over which order the middle movements should be played in. 9. You have set a new world record for most grace notes in a first violin part. 8. 15 year-old...

Guardian Feature- Kenneth Woods Rescues the Classics

by Kenneth Woods | Apr 1, 2009 | A view from the podium, Not quite the news, Satire

I am humbled to report that I am the subject of a major feature this morning in one of the national papers…. From today’s Guardian- Modern Maestro Rescues the Classics   Conductor Kenneth Woods found his own path to the podium. While many of...
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