by Kenneth Woods | May 31, 2017 | Not quite the news, Satire
A new plugin for Sibelius and Finale music engraving software is taking the music world by storm. The new “Titleizer” plugin from Demisoft Technology systematically analyses a piece’s duration, instrumentation and pitch content and automatically generates a...
by Kenneth Woods | Jan 24, 2017 | Not quite the news, Satire
The Metropolitan Symphony Orchestra have announced plans for their 50th Anniversary Season, with a celebratory focus on familiarity, conservatism, convenience and conformity. MSO You’ve heard it all here before “When we started thinking about how best to...
by Kenneth Woods | Oct 3, 2016 | Not quite the news, Satire
Philip Sawyers – Violin Concerto, Trumpet Concerto, Valley of Vision, Alexander Sitkovetsky, Simon Desbruslais, ESO (Nimbus) Members of the Metropolis Symphony Orchestra reacted with public expressions of glee upon learning that their colleague, principal...
by Kenneth Woods | Jun 18, 2016 | A view from the podium, Not quite the news, Satire
The nearly-washed-up conductor Robert von Bohyarti, former Decca recording artist and long-time conductor of the Minneapolis Philharmonia, is considering launching a solo violin career, it has been learned. Bohyarti, whose instrument is the piano, is reported to feel...
by Kenneth Woods | Jun 14, 2016 | Not quite the news, Satire
The second violin section of the Brumington Symphony Orchestra are bracing for a vote on whether to leave or remain in their orchestra. The upcoming referendum has created anxiety throughout the orchestra amidst concerns that the second violins, who are the second...
by Kenneth Woods | Jun 10, 2016 | Not quite the news, Satire
Government officials are considering a move to permanently do away with alto clef from 2018, sources have revealed. It has been known for some time that the widely reviled clef, recently voted “worst clef” for a record-shattering 27th year in a row, has long been...
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